記

“

對我真的好的人 太多

所以對我不好的我一下就知道了。

 

因爲我看過你愛我的樣子
所以你不愛我的時候 我一下就知道了。

”

|

這是最近

讀過比較銘心的話

|

然後轉眼

我就這樣

真的搬家了

雖然

一直在後悔

後來還是跟以往的作風一樣

既然選擇了

跪著也得走完

|

She

" I don't keep people who close to me
that I don't trust "

|

she is goal-driven
she is selective
she can carry herself well

she is protective
she is loving
she can treat a girl way better than a guy

she is hot
she is classy
she likes dog
she likes food since 8yo
and she can cook well

|

Being a woman is not about what's on the outside
but what's on the inside
and probably the confidence she emanates
is what attracted me the most

|

i'm timid
but she's not

it took us some time
to get to know each other
but that's fine

 i believe
things happen for a reason
and i always trusted His timing

|

Wed 25.11.2020

alright
good things suppose to be kept
and i'm thankful that i had a lovely day

i wanted to make it simple and brief
but i'm afraid without jotting the details
i might have forgotten
because it's the little things 
that made up everything

she is smart
and tough
she has all the things i admire
her grit
her capability
financially independence
a breadwinner
down to earth
a thinking woman
all the inside-traits that
i claim sexy

but we just knew each other
what makes me think so she might wonder
hmmm. vibes?
or to say
i have this ability to notice the smallest thing
and put it into a big picture
yea, probably.

|

But it's ohkay
moments.

|

feeling honored
to know you

cost of a lesson

It's hard to know what we like
but easier to discard what we don't like

|

things don't move according to what we expect
it always doesn't
even if it does
it'll never be permanent

and that is the reason
i see mercy
that's the only reason
we'll turn back to Him
that i know He is the only one
that doesn't change
after all

|

it's good to remind myself again
my confidence doesn't come from the approval of others
not even compliments
merely just a plus point

|

do the right thing
but
right in the eye of the Lord

|

And i asked

"define luxury"

And i answer

"appreciation."

You can always say no

後來發現

原來 自己還是都有尖銳的時候

只是 既然後悔不能改變事實

就只好當作

又一次提醒自己做不好了

所以下次要做的更好。

|

我寵著人的次數

一向很多 很多

所以那時候 最打動我的一句話是

“

記得 如果你不想

隨時都可以說不想

”

後來我發現

這話 真的好溫柔。

只是

從此以后

被逼著做我不想做的事的時候

我更難受了。

|

 後來我還是發現

一個比一個難安撫
既然一定要煩

那我選擇煩賺錢好了

。

|

委屈的意思是

有時候

不是沒有錯就不需要道歉

。

 writing poetry:

one of many ways of 
processing pain.

|

Crying isn't a sign of weakness, they said

 They want you to be happy
but according to their condition.

|

The more i learn
how the world function
the more i couldn't trust

|

it's much better to cry out the pain
than sitting numb and staring into darkness

I can relate.

|

Let me jot down how it feels that morning.

i hate being an empath
i thought we were friends
and i felt as helpless as you
when i can't bear your pain and struggles
i question myself what did i do wrong
or why am i not enough
but i have no stand to convince you to count on me

|

anotherrandomness

i hate attachment.
i hate how the temporary things in life

could tear me down.

i hate how i let myself to be in jeopardy

if there's one thing in life i needed

i'd say

stand up

fear not

be strong

and stronger

Random

 今天

只想當個普通人

。

#presentpast

"

That's the thing about pain,

it demands to be felt.

"

They say

its ohkay to say no

but the more i reminisce 

the more i didnt understand

why it didn't work.

face the pain

and you'll be fine

they said.

#shreyamaurya

Tears are never enough 

to hold someone back.

Neither are words for

they fall on deaf ears,

like dead promises that

dripped down their mouths

and you believed all of them.

Option is never my choice.

我是個理性和不理性的共同體

只是在所有可以選擇自私的時候

我都有極其的能力

選擇理智多一些。

所有的悲劇

我都可以輕輕地告訴自己

沒關係。

所有的悲傷

我總有能力告訴自己

會好的。

/

今天

異常壓力山大

但還好這個坎是汗水

可以暫時擱著的

有時候

我在想世界好大

我的肩膀也不過這麽小

到底還要走多久

才可以休息

我不想有故事

不想有快樂

不想要擁有

什麽都不想要

這樣才能輕輕地在世界飄蕩

/

如果可以

我這輩子只想要遇見的人

只有我。

好好

願意好好跟我説話的
都是溫柔的人

 願意好好跟我説話的
一定是最疼愛我的人。

|

我相信我會好的
但始終不太相信
幸運這事

很想早一點看到答案
這樣是不是就可以不用那麽累
是不是 就可以不用那麽努力。

|

我們都説
大人的世界
連難過都得挑時間
這是真的
都是這樣 挑著挑著
哪一天就忘了
都是這樣 忘著忘著
哪一天又不小心快樂了。

|

“ 

那一刻 你心裏有場海嘯

可你安靜地站著

沒有讓任何人知道

”

都是暫時的。

培養多一些愛好

讓生活多一些期待和快樂

來治愈那些瑣碎和疲憊。

什麽都不怕

但是重頭再來的勇氣

真的有點難。

失去一個人最悲傷的

是他帶走了你的一部分

帶走那個其他人都不認識的你。

Hi August.

"
Sadness doesn't sadden one's anymore
when you believe it takes your heart
an inch closer to God.
"

That's the thing about pain,
it demand to be felt.

--- The fault in our star

想要安全一點。

“

在所有的失去中

最害怕的

就是我們曾經很好。

”

很少擁有

所以不太習慣

每一次太快樂的時候

總是在猜想

是不是離崩潰又不遠了

只是 現在每一次痊愈的速度

好像能比上次 都快了一些。

|

聽説愛笑的小朋友

運氣都不會太差

Done

You're the happiness I borrowed from time. 

|

But we were the match

that lost its flame too soon.

|

後來，把止損點提前了。

Progression

“

其實

你讓我變得

比較勇敢

勇敢地面對悲傷

”

最後一次的見面

其實你也是這樣

頭也不回地離開

|

只是遇見你的時候

剛好讓你碰到開朗快樂的我

所以離開的時候

我也想用原來的面貌

跟你道別

Progression

"

She lost herself  a little

in that darkness 

but returned with the stars 

beneath her skin.

"

比起計較誰付出比較多

我想比較不安的

是更害怕自己會不會

突然就不被需要吧

通常

長大的過程都不會太輕鬆

不都是一次次地痛

讓你一次次地更勇敢面對下一次的傷嗎

這個世界

每個人都有自己的不容易

願每份心酸

都有人心疼

原每個人

都能被溫柔以待

這一次

我又長大了一點

對於斷捨離

我又做得更好一些

這次的離開

我又學會了悄無聲息

|

"

A woman could love you to death

and still never talk to you again.

Understand that.

"

雨。

有時候

心情是很反覆的事情

就像下著大雨開車回家

你會突然感慨

要是下車的時候

有人為你撐傘

有時候最打動人的

不就是這些

毫不起眼的小事嗎。

可是咬了咬牙關

淋了一些雨以後

也沒有想象中糟糕

然後再被可愛的小狗歡迎

屁顛屁顛地又好像被溫暖了。

後來

另外一天的陽光依然溫暖

甚至開始有點熾熱

頓時又發現

生活哪有那麼多時間

多愁善感和悲傷。

我想 日子也不過這樣

不會一直都是低谷

總有向陽的時候

但是我也不會每天

都成為向日葵

所以學會接受那些 

落寞的時候 那些不太完美的時候

那些有點難堪 和邋遢的時候

再不學會愛惜自己多一點

就真的太辜負自己了。

沒事 該堅強的時候堅強

該軟弱的時候就軟弱吧

又不是傘 幹嘛要一直撐著呢。

|

最近拐到脚了

蠻好的

讓我看事看人的角度

又增加了一個新的視角

相信不在乎的人
真的不在乎
不要再心裏替任何人説話了
嗯呢

End.

"

If you think loving her is hard

try forgetting her.

"

|

In a generation

that doesn't appreciate effort

Dishonest,

doesn't surprise me anymore

but loyalty.

|

I have a deeper understanding

with trust.

If I trusted you

I'll ignore the red flags

but only trusted in you

and you alone.

That is where

you could break it

and knowing that I'll never turn back

when I found you lied. 

Do not talk to me

about loyalty 

because I fight for your fame

and still holding secrets for people

who threw dirt behind me.

We can never force a person

to appreciate

but you're gonna miss the person

that didn't want anything from you

but only loyalty and affection. 

Kindness is my favourite flower.

"

I am the person who sticks around longer

than I should.

But once I'm gone,

I'm gone.

"

Deep in me always know that

life has ups and down

and I'll be fine after all the bumps.

July is my month

and I just want to be grateful

at the moment.

Thankful for

for all the things I had

and also things that I don't

for I understand it's all the provision

from the Lord.

|

They say

the amount of love you give

to others 

shows how big your heart is.

Blessed to the person

who are able to give.

|

Healing takes time.

 I embrace my weakness

and myself 

I know there will be a day

I'd bloom with grace again.

Growth in progress

"Grief is the love you can't give"

|

後來我想想

幸運是不是 不論我們多努力

都沒辦法撍來？

“長大就是一個逐漸降低期待的過程”

而過程中
崩潰的次數不會遞減
但隱忍的重量一定會遞增。

|

我很任性
就像
我只要水的時候
就只要水

就像
我只要你的時候
就只要你

就像
如果你給我的
同時也能給別人
那我寧愿 不要
。

就像
如果安全感和信任
是要討來的
我寧願
不要。

就像
我寧愿辜負自己
也不想成爲別人的選項。

Lights.

" People who stay awake whole night

sitting under the stars 

have so many words buried in their heart. "

|

I search

and I found

the courage to let you in.

So you have that power 

to let me down

but I hope you don't.

|

If she chooses you

she's choosing pain over pleasure.

"Please do that."

Break me,

my faith in you

over and over.

Please do that

I haven't learned my lesson yet.

|

再見

或者

也沒有必要再見了

什麽時候

可以再瀟灑一點

説走

就走

什麽時候

可以勇敢一點

說不回頭

就不回頭

|

有的悲傷終究無法避免

所以我學會

早點習慣悲傷

忍受疼痛

讓悲傷長繭

再期待自己

頭也不回的那一刻

頭也不回的時候

我又自由了

。

如果

連影子也會在雨天離開自己

你便知道

孤軍奮戰

更加真切

這輩子

顧著守護人太累了

下輩子吧

總有一個人會守護我是吧

只是

是誰是什麽時候

我就不太有興趣知道就是了

。

那些沒辦法堅持的時候

比起沒有選擇的餘地

明明有選擇

卻還是選錯的感覺

總來得更糟糕

“

最溫柔的

都在當初

”

所以才出現所有的

患得患失。

如果你讓我

患得患失

我就不要了

。

我這麽

不動聲色地努力

好不容易讓生活過得樸素一點 

快樂一點充實一點

好不容易又可以屁顛屁顛地

學會期待生命

你要是懂得心疼我

就不會這麽自私

只有在需要的時候

才敲門找我要快樂不是嗎。

Similarity.

The only similarity 

between you and me is

If we both were drowning

I'd save you
and you
would save yourself too.

|

Some people aren't good at asking for help

because they're so used to being the helper.

They've experienced an unbalanced give and take

so their instinct is usually

' I'll figure it out myself. '

|

you have become so damaged 

that when someone wants to give you

what you deserve,

you have no idea 

how to respond.

Let that sink in

及時道別

當你體會過人來人往

那些嘻嘻笑笑

已經比不過一回頭

就有人陪你又哭、又閙、又笑。

“

落寞的時候想起你

沒什麽大不了

快樂又熱鬧的時候想起你

那就不一樣了。

”

讓你太累的人事物

本就應該及時道別。

可是我最無法學會的

也是設立止損點。

勇敢

是需要學習的

是要透過積纍那些

你很厭惡 不想要重蹈覆轍的情景

那個迫切想要改變

又或者擺脫

而願意冒一次險

經歷的未知。

但是

我討厭未知

我無法相信未知會善待我

就像

你會善待我一樣

。

但是
是你告訴我的
得到就不會珍惜
我以爲你知道了
就會不一樣

我錯了
但也不驚訝
這種錯我是犯得太多
所以也不想饒恕自己

過了耳聽承諾
耳聽所有的年紀
你們要是不懂得照顧這朵花
那也就沒有打量的必要

我很可愛
但也很酷
你忘了嗎
。

“

什麽都是撍回來的

錢是 

好感是

失望也是

”

再也不見，

快樂不需要承諾

但幸福需要。

這個世界會讓人快樂的事情很多

所以你不是他快樂的唯一選項。

可幸福不是這樣

幸福除了快樂 還需要責任

是除了享受幸福

也還願意爲對方承受及付出。

所以你就算再累

也會想照顧他

而他只要一忙

就會覺得你很麻煩。

—————— 角子

|

“

你沒辦法保護我

卻還成爲了我的風雨

”

有些文字

真的是讀心酸的。

如果

我在你心中找不到特別的位置

我不會再委屈自己

就讓我保持這份傲嬌

先説再見

然後 就再也不要見了

。

“

在我最需要的時候你不在

以後你就不必在了

”

Sleep require peace

I put my pain into poetry

and the most beautiful garden grows

in the wounds of my heart.

“ 

盡力就好。

”

後來你知道

這是一句悲傷的話

因爲很多時候

盡力了

還是好不了

。

任性是被愛的人的權力

其實

我不是因爲跟著日子前進

而變得穩重成熟

而是找不到哪怕一點、

一點讓我能夠任性的時間

或是誰的身邊

能享有不需要成熟的權力

例如 一些幼稚 傲嬌 或脆弱
都沒有。

這話

讀三遍吧

Darling, rest in my arm.

"
Let them go

see who stay

"

Some words

never fail to remind my soul.

I am so soft

that never a person

could know how to handle

"

Talk to yourself

like you would

to someone you love

"

The first sight was

Oh, self love.

But the next minute

I reminisce

I cuddle myself with tears.

I'd tell them

"Darling, please, come here"
Please. I don't need you to say a word
Just come to me
Cry to me and let me comfort you.

And then I realise
this is how
I fall in love with myself

I didn't know 

the softest ever person I'd met

was me.

Kthanksbye

"

I will never stay

if I'm only an option.

"

I never lost a thing

love has always been a part in me

kindness has always rooted in me

Losing a person 

that never appreciates

it's always a win.

底綫

“

你喜歡什麽?

”

這話好難

回答

。

就像我説了

你會在意一樣

|

不太知道自己喜歡什麽

但知道自己不喜歡什麽

不太知道想要什麽

但知道自己不想要什麽

|

就像

我永遠知道

自己沒有資格要求什麽

讓自己快樂一點

幸福一點

但卻有資格

讓自己避免一些什麽

讓自己少受一點傷

這樣

你懂嗎

細節

“

在細節中

越是容易感動的人

同樣越是逃不過

在細節中 崩潰的命運

”

後來發現

失去自己

不是一瞬間的事

是在每次的兩難中

我并沒有選擇 自己

。

有沒有人能夠拯救

一直心裏有數

只是

沒有辦法不想

或許

哪一些人

願意爲我披荊斬棘

或許

心存盼望

是我們在這個世界

可以過下去的小動力吧

不會每一天都沒有動力
不會每一天都很沮喪
就是一些些的小盼望
有時候已經足夠 幫我們
走過好長好長的路了

。

淺談

“

幸福

或許是在一段關係裏

我們都能妥善地

找到可以安置自己的位置

就像 分開的時候

我們都是大人

在一起的時候

又一起變成了孩子

世界那麽大

能碰見

真不容易

怎麽可能是僥幸呢
”

Small talks

表情被賦予的含義再多

也難以超越文字的魅力

就像我說

所有的大張旗鼓是假的

真正的離開都是悄無聲息

|

你説
我最後還是逃跑了
對的
因爲聽説
先走的人
比較不需要面對
後來的悲傷
。

我想
是始終沒有勇氣吧

所以選擇一個
模糊
不太能琢磨的方式
來傾訴那些
我一直想告訴你的話
。

致我們

I used to think communication was the key
until realized comprehension is.

You can communicate
all you want but if they don't understand you,
its silent chaos.

/

No one notice
your tears
your pain
but they always notice
your mistake.

那些不可以
我無法控制
所以只能認了
。

而我只是

想你稍稍記得

有些東西我喜歡

有些食物我不吃

有些原則我在乎

還是那些我可能生氣的原因

就這樣

就這樣
我就會覺得
你世界好

。

一直告訴自己

不能對愛的人發脾氣

盡量不要

何必爲了在乎

而折磨彼此呢

。

但是
這是需要時間磨練的

後來
我好不容易學會了
不期盼誰也能如此
但如果只有我曉得
我希望我的成熟
不會成爲
將來承載更多委屈的理由
。

如果你
稍稍心疼我
不要吼我
不要對我生氣
哄一哄我
有話要好好說
好不好
。

Lies are lies

" You're not asking for too much

you're just asking for the wrong person. "

|

" If they don't care,

trust them they don't. "

|

Let that sink in.

|

對了
如果我問你一個問題

有時候
我是真的想知道答案

但也有的時候
我已經知道答案
只是想從你口中
得到一些安定的力量

所以
答應我
不要對我撒謊
好嗎
。

把喜歡收好。

“

這世界大多的遺憾都和選擇有關

所以我們拼命地假想另一個選擇以後的發展。

”

|

這是特別的一個月

把所有的得失丟到一旁

勇敢的向前邁了好多步。

開心就説開心

想耍憂鬱就不需要勉强自己微笑

想說早安就説早安

想要撒嬌就撒嬌

不需要面對人群

面對世界的不溫柔

我好快樂

。

|

距離的拿捏是個學問

往前走害怕未知

而在停步的同時

多少又害怕被遺忘

都是這些小事

讓我難忘

小溫暖 讓我不想忘

但是我准備好了

輕描淡寫

這樣不會刻進心裏

就像你不會跟你做的夢計較一樣

想把這個月 當作一場夢

所以 有沒有都無所謂

再踏出門的時候

我只是帶著新的面貌

重新出發而已

。

|

我學到了一個新的技能

就是用盡力氣

去假想所有的不好

這樣就能不痛不癢地放下

|

“

遇到喜歡的人我也不會踏前一步

因爲我害怕你會向他們一樣

如果你會鬆手

我必須學會比你早走。

”

縱使每一次傷害很深

我都還願意相信

只是後來傷的有點麻木了

我唯有一直問自己 

是不是太輕易把心交出去

到底有誰能教我

怎樣不交心去喜歡一個人。

於是我花了一年半載的時間
總結了我無法學會

所以這段日子

只能提醒自己

把心收好 就好

。

反正如果你會消失
我要先消失哦
我對自己説好的
。

We grow as we go

"

When you're high

I'll take the lows

You can ebb and I can flow

and we'll take it slow

And grow as we go

"

|

Tell me things you never said out loud

Show me the parts of you

you're not that proud of

I'll have you know that 

I have good and bad days too

when I have fallen and crawling on my knees 

I carry a glimpse of hope

that you'll see me too

|

You can't skip chapters

that's how life works.

You have to read every line

meet every character.

You won't enjoy all of it.

Some chapters will make you cry for weeks.

You'll read things you don't want to read,

also moments when you don't want the pages to end.

Time is a fickle thing.

You can be with someone for years

to experience disappointments

but redefines what it means to be happy

after spending weeks with another person.

Probably

love doesn't always fit into timeframe.

天黑請閉眼

“

我變得不再那麽害怕天黑

因爲從我明白承諾會消失的那刻開始

我的心就再也沒有亮過。

”

對於寄放希望和不辜負這件事

我始終很擅長

但是歲月投擲的錯誤

我學到了見好就收

。

|

我是這麽擅長願意相信 

有關於美好的所有

但這個世界又是這麽擅長

教導我 不期不待

有時候

想遣散自己的成熟

只想找一個地方 或者

一個人

一個肩膀

像我這麽溫柔的人

來安放我的幼稚

接納我所有的不安

理解我不哭不鬧、理解我嘴角背後的委屈

在崩塌的時候

一眼就能看出我眼裏的斑駁

告訴我傷心 就哭吧

或者抱一抱我

讓我安心的

一次睡到天亮

。

|

可是 張望著也許哪裏是個好去處的時候

往往又能輕易看見別人不如自己成熟

只能把想給的 又提回來

有些前往不是必須

那我們就先收著吧

坦誠自己需要

希望被接住的當下

卻常常做好了不被接住的心理准備

就算在那些時間裏

已經脆弱到不行

我想

這就是爲什麽

我不再怕天黑的原因

。

Unexpected

" You hold happiness

in your arms

That's why it's my favorite place to be "

|

If  and only if
you're the person

I could trust.

I'd give thanks to this wonderful person

that restore my faith

that awakens my love 

For being able to notice light after dark

beautiful growth potential after pain

|

So I believe

beautiful things blossom in their own timing.

|

" If a stranger is all I can ever be

then I'll be the best stranger you will ever meet. "

Similarity

Remember, 

only bee knows the value of honey.

Others

just crave for it,

but bee,

preserves and take care.

|

"

When you like a flower

you just pluck it

But when you love a flower

you water it

"

Think about it.

Anchor

"Reassurance isn't the same when you have to ask for it. " 

|

We often want it so badly that we ruin it

before it begins.

Overthink. Fantasizing. Imagining.

Expecting. Worrying. Doubting.

Why not just let it evolve.

Naturally.

But ye,

communicate.

|

I said,

I'm not here to impress anyone

It's always your choice

to choose who you'd give your trust to

so that your leap of faith

will be safe and sound

I said,

any man could spoil you

with material things

but only the right one can give you

more than that.

Unfortunately

the man that is not ready

couldn't afford it even it cost nothing

Effort.

The right one will spoil you

with happiness, attention, affection,

loyalty, and quality time.

They don't only love you

when it's only convenience to them,

A person that chooses you everyday

even when you're hard to deal with at times.

Then,

it's too much.

You said,

We're asking for too much.

|

So, in the end

we come to the conclusion that,

"You can love someone,

and still walk away."

We often mistake love with personal placement.

We thought because we love, so we must stay.

We must tolerate mistreatment.

But the unhealing wounds

tell me that's false.

We can still reallocate even we harbor in such a deep connection

in the wrong person.

|

Everything happens for a reason.

Sometimes you understand it

in moments

sometimes, it takes years.

有關於真心狼狽的故事

你們總是説

不要討好別人來讓別人喜歡你

什麽時候開始

展現真心卻成爲了如此狼狽的事情。

|

“

人之所以有溫度

想必是要讓我們能夠在擁抱的時候

一絲不苟的感受到對方的存在

讓那顆墜落的心

都在被擁抱的溫度裏瓦解。

”

|

你們總是覺得我

爲了討好別人所以我那麽溫柔

所以我把底綫放的那麽低

但 不是的

你們不懂

我并沒有對每個人都那麽溫柔

當世界可以這麽輕易地否定一個人的善良

讓我再次覺得

自己怎麽 有點狼狽

所以 我再一次

信誓旦旦地承諾自己

讓自己再尖銳一點

但是那終究不是我

所以

我又懶了

只好把事情都擱一邊

祈求不再有人進入我的生命

因爲我始終

會奮不顧身

給與愛

。

如果你心底裏還有一絲的好

請你務必不要進入我的生命

如果你做不到對我好

但是 你做的到不要傷害我

是嗎

。

不想失去就不要擁有

“

絕不要猜測別人心裏想什麽，

琢磨別人的心思 從來不是幸福的人。

”

|

我姐說

我就是懶

懶得計較 懶得理會 懶得解釋

懶得說 懶得管 就是懶

我説 是的

我不是好 我只是懶。

這個懶還是不賴的
所以我總可以因爲一件事情

而倍感幸福

。

|

但是

我又是那麽多愁善感

可以一秒快樂

一秒悲傷

患得患失的快樂

我不想要

我不要曾經擁有

因爲我在乎天長地久

所有短暫會消失的事情

我要敬而遠之

因爲失去很痛苦

。

“

我不知道該怎麽和生活中

無法失去的人說再見

所以 我沒有説再見

就離開了。

”

我的小故事

有很多話想和你説

但你若不找我，我又很酷

所以我不和你説，

然後我把它們拆成很多句

和我去聊的每個人都說一句

到最後把故事説完了

但終究沒人懂

但那其實無所謂

我也不太想讓人懂了

。

|

希望

每一次爲自己做的一點改變

都能讓之後的自己

勇氣加倍

。

努力的意義

我想就是

當好運來臨的時候

我覺得我值得了

。

|

我那麽固執

固執得不想讓你懂我的悲傷

但又想讓你讀懂我的無奈

如果我好好說

你會好好聽嗎

是不是不會的

所以你懂了

爲什麽我不説的原因嗎

。

對的邂逅

“

明白生活很難

所以相遇的時候，盡力互相善待。

”

|

你太勇敢

所以他們覺得你一個人也可以

你不夠勇敢

擅自對一個人 決定了喜歡

然而

只好在傷心裏 找好自己的位置

|

既然是關心

那就讓關心單純一點

不想太多的之後 不期待回復與否 

讓關心變得溫柔

像陣風

而對方選擇無動於衷還是隨之擺動

則是他們的自由了

|

對的人

再晚一點相遇吧

等我們都足夠成熟以後

就再也不會莫名其妙地分開了

。

我的溫柔 ft yesterday

所謂的成長，

或許可以這麽解釋。

有一部分 是自己對於 待人接物的進步，

另一部分 是自己對於所有缺失的接受。

/

每一個季節

除了負責花朵的凋零 和盛開

還必須承載一些相遇 和離開。

生活

不可能像你想像的那麽好

但也不會像你想象的那麽糟

因爲我覺得

我們的脆弱和堅强

都超乎自己的想象

就像有時

我可能脆弱得一句話 就能淚流滿面；

有時，

也發現自己咬著牙

走了很長的路。

/

有時候

能夠坦然地表現懦弱那一面

是幸福的

那表示 心裏的黑色情緒

能夠被誰溫柔地接納。

羡慕這種 曾經理所當然的事

我想 是長大付出的代價吧。

如果可以

你也可以讓我
溫柔地接納你

不只有開心

還有悲傷。

我願意擁抱

你所有帶刺的倔强。

/

Yesterday

All my troubles seemed so far away

Now it looks as though they're here to stay

Oh, I believe in yesterday

Suddenly

I'm not half the man I used to be

There's a shadow hanging over me

Oh, yesterday came suddenly

Why she had to go, I don't know, she wouldn't say

I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday

Yesterday

Love was such an easy game to play

Now I need a place to hideaway

Oh, I believe in yesterday

Why she had to go, I don't

另一種失去。

深夜發文
才能不知不覺。

|

有些重量
只能自己承擔
有些眼淚
留給自己就好

因爲長大以後
我知道這個世界
不會再出現另一個自己

想要找一個一模一樣的自己
好好保護自己。

所有人
都會離我而去
我記住了。

|

行動管制
4/12
他離開了
是一種生命的消逝
在人海中
像陣風。

|

有一種失去
是另一種失去。

|

而我一直好想問的問題
從此也沒有了可以問的機會。

角子

要先讓不想留的人離開

，

該來的人

才有來的理由

。

你已經可以分辨

失去喜歡 和失去幸福

是不一樣的。

喜歡 是短暫的

幸福 是長久的。

你一定要先失一些

無法持久的喜歡

才會知道誰才是那個

最後可以陪你 走到幸福的人。

|

只有兩個人珍惜的相遇

我們才稱之為 緣分

否則就只能算是 交會。

不被珍惜的，都不必可惜。

會離開的，都不是真的緣分。

所以

不要再爲了那些短暫的交會

而虛耗自己的眼淚。

|

我們要的

是漸漸纍積 而不是逐漸消磨

想找的 不是只有一起快樂 

還要展現更高貴的情操 那叫 堅定。

我想要的

不是只有一起快樂

我想要陪伴那些 無人問津的累不累

Wink

A little comfort from you has always

been just enough for hope to seep in.

|

a little goes a long way

10.04.2020

Does it feel like home?

If yes, then don't leave it like guests do.

Murmur

Making someone understand 

your worth is like speaking in

the language they don't wish to know

I learn to stop pleading

and nourish my soul in all times of uncertainty

The more they broke me

the kinder I became

the stronger I became

also the more fragile I became

doesn't it sounds contradict

|

 I love hard. but embarrassingly hard.

I hold my hope in my throat

I clutch my wishes in my hands

they become moist and sweat 
until I no longer want them

Story i don't tell

I know I belong here but I'd still say

I don't for I know things don't last forever with me.

|

Each time you find my name

a home in your sentences

between the universally special words

like love and sorry

i feel though i were an outcaste in

a system of society i can't fit in

but I know i belong here

in between pages you scribble

but I'll still say i don't belong here

for i know things don't last with me

not even my own family

i was brought up from

i wouldn't know who or what to point at

when they ask of 

blood or belongings.

Priority

If you want to know

you'd spend all of your time

to read her.

|

She's the one be like.

If you write her a handwritten note

she's keeping it forever

no matter what happens.

|

She loves conversation.

She could read back texts all day

She is that old fashioned kind of person

the rare one.

|

If she's just your option

darling. 

please leave her alone.

|

She likes consistent.

Don't introduce her the vibe

where you cannot maintain.

|

If you're not ready for 

her kind of love

Please.

Leave.

Rare.

 I want to read your past

not to judge you

but to know how you needed to be loved

|

I wanted to stitch you up

I wanted to stop the bleeding,

heal the wound.

But what did I know of the places you're hurt

a scratched knee

a broken wing

a cracked rib

you never let me see.

I hope you're ohkay now

but I wanted to be the one to help you.

Instinct

We are born with the instinct to

overcome hurt and keep going.

|

We are born

to learn and fight.

Heals.

I could be so many things.

Just a person nothing too fancy.

But what they do is

they talk of my flesh because

it holds too many roots inside, pure soil.

They talk of my size because

it's not the shape of their perfect fruit, 

only disappointments.

I could be human,

with cracks and stitches from childhood,

but what they do is make me hide them,

push me to be a part of their camouflage

but I could be anything

and I chose to not play dirty

and I chose to be who I am

just another wounded human

trying to heal differently.

Pain free.

I feel you and I care but I'm no god.

Half of what I write is unacceptable poetry

because it isn't motivating and doesn't break.

Like this,

into fragments with

rhythm missing because

my poem is my culprit in my eyes

always running and hiding in corners

down the streets, I can't reach,

there's a pattern to be followed but 

I'm too stressed for that.

A not-so-perfect-poem

by a 

not-so-perfect-person

說不。

I have been lied to and cheated on by

too many people I had faith in

to never turn out the way they all did.

|

如果我看起來不夠脆弱

你是不是就以爲我不怕疼

如果我的努力不着痕跡

你是不是就以爲我很容易

你明知道我怕疼

卻還是讓我
患得
患失
。

|

如果有那麽一個人

願意包容你的所有

請你珍惜她一次吧

如果她走了

不是因爲她不要你了

而是傷害太大

她再不走

很痛的

。

|

這個世界

不會善待善良的人

而溫柔的人

最後
還是都哭了

。

Options

I don't like to owe.

If you give me 10

I would give you 100.

That's it.

/

That day,

I told her.

I will never think that 

I am the best for a person

But,

I think they just lost a person

who treated them wholeheartedly.

WHOLEHEARTEDLY.

And I do believe,

to get this kind of love

in this generation

it's rare.

Once you lose it,

you lose it forever.

Once she decided to let go,

She will never turn back.

And that's it.

/

If you have a kind soul

I already like you.

It's so easy for me to get attached

with a person

when I see beauty in them.

I can't resist a lovely soul.

 A beautiful soul is rare.

and I wanted to nourish it.

/

Imagine.

You are killing a person

that prays for you

fights for you

 stands for you.

/

If I say
I stand for you,
I dare you to not believe
how much effort I have put.