Friday, April 24, 2020

Lies are lies

" You're not asking for too much
you're just asking for the wrong person. "

|

" If they don't care,
trust them they don't. "

|

Let that sink in.

|

對了
如果我問你一個問題

有時候
我是真的想知道答案

但也有的時候
我已經知道答案
只是想從你口中
得到一些安定的力量

所以
答應我
不要對我撒謊
好嗎

Tuesday, April 21, 2020

把喜歡收好。

這世界大多的遺憾都和選擇有關
所以我們拼命地假想另一個選擇以後的發展。

|

這是特別的一個月
把所有的得失丟到一旁
勇敢的向前邁了好多步。

開心就説開心
想耍憂鬱就不需要勉强自己微笑
想說早安就説早安
想要撒嬌就撒嬌
不需要面對人群
面對世界的不溫柔
我好快樂

|

距離的拿捏是個學問
往前走害怕未知
而在停步的同時
多少又害怕被遺忘

都是這些小事
讓我難忘
小溫暖 讓我不想忘

但是我准備好了
輕描淡寫
這樣不會刻進心裏
就像你不會跟你做的夢計較一樣

想把這個月 當作一場夢
所以 有沒有都無所謂
再踏出門的時候
我只是帶著新的面貌
重新出發而已

|

我學到了一個新的技能

就是用盡力氣
去假想所有的不好
這樣就能不痛不癢地放下

|

遇到喜歡的人我也不會踏前一步
因爲我害怕你會向他們一樣
如果你會鬆手
我必須學會比你早走。

縱使每一次傷害很深
我都還願意相信
只是後來傷的有點麻木了
我唯有一直問自己 
是不是太輕易把心交出去

到底有誰能教我
怎樣不交心去喜歡一個人。

於是我花了一年半載的時間
總結了我無法學會
所以這段日子
只能提醒自己
把心收好 就好

反正如果你會消失
我要先消失哦
我對自己説好的



We grow as we go

"
When you're high
I'll take the lows
You can ebb and I can flow
and we'll take it slow
And grow as we go
"

|

Tell me things you never said out loud
Show me the parts of you
you're not that proud of

I'll have you know that 
I have good and bad days too
when I have fallen and crawling on my knees 
I carry a glimpse of hope
that you'll see me too

|

You can't skip chapters
that's how life works.
You have to read every line
meet every character.
You won't enjoy all of it.

Some chapters will make you cry for weeks.
You'll read things you don't want to read,
also moments when you don't want the pages to end.

Time is a fickle thing.
You can be with someone for years
to experience disappointments
but redefines what it means to be happy
after spending weeks with another person.

Probably
love doesn't always fit into timeframe.






Monday, April 20, 2020

天黑請閉眼

我變得不再那麽害怕天黑
因爲從我明白承諾會消失的那刻開始
我的心就再也沒有亮過。

對於寄放希望和不辜負這件事
我始終很擅長
但是歲月投擲的錯誤
我學到了見好就收

|

我是這麽擅長願意相信 
有關於美好的所有

但這個世界又是這麽擅長
教導我 不期不待

有時候
想遣散自己的成熟
只想找一個地方 或者
一個人
一個肩膀
像我這麽溫柔的人
來安放我的幼稚
接納我所有的不安
理解我不哭不鬧、理解我嘴角背後的委屈
在崩塌的時候
一眼就能看出我眼裏的斑駁
告訴我傷心 就哭吧
或者抱一抱我
讓我安心的
一次睡到天亮

|

可是 張望著也許哪裏是個好去處的時候
往往又能輕易看見別人不如自己成熟
只能把想給的 又提回來

有些前往不是必須
那我們就先收著吧

坦誠自己需要
希望被接住的當下
卻常常做好了不被接住的心理准備
就算在那些時間裏
已經脆弱到不行

我想
這就是爲什麽
我不再怕天黑的原因


Friday, April 17, 2020

Unexpected

" You hold happiness
in your arms
That's why it's my favorite place to be "

|

If  and only if
you're the person
I could trust.

I'd give thanks to this wonderful person
that restore my faith
that awakens my love 

For being able to notice light after dark
beautiful growth potential after pain

|

So I believe
beautiful things blossom in their own timing.

|

" If a stranger is all I can ever be
then I'll be the best stranger you will ever meet. "

Similarity

Remember, 
only bee knows the value of honey.

Others
just crave for it,
but bee,
preserves and take care.

|

"
When you like a flower
you just pluck it
But when you love a flower
you water it
"

Think about it.

Anchor

"Reassurance isn't the same when you have to ask for it. " 

|

We often want it so badly that we ruin it
before it begins.
Overthink. Fantasizing. Imagining.
Expecting. Worrying. Doubting.
Why not just let it evolve.
Naturally.

But ye,
communicate.

|

I said,
I'm not here to impress anyone
It's always your choice
to choose who you'd give your trust to
so that your leap of faith
will be safe and sound

I said,
any man could spoil you
with material things
but only the right one can give you
more than that.

Unfortunately
the man that is not ready
couldn't afford it even it cost nothing

Effort.
The right one will spoil you
with happiness, attention, affection,
loyalty, and quality time.

They don't only love you
when it's only convenience to them,

A person that chooses you everyday
even when you're hard to deal with at times.

Then,
it's too much.
You said,
We're asking for too much.

|

So, in the end
we come to the conclusion that,

"You can love someone,
and still walk away."

We often mistake love with personal placement.
We thought because we love, so we must stay.
We must tolerate mistreatment.

But the unhealing wounds
tell me that's false.
We can still reallocate even we harbor in such a deep connection
in the wrong person.

|

Everything happens for a reason.
Sometimes you understand it
in moments
sometimes, it takes years.

Thursday, April 16, 2020

有關於真心狼狽的故事

你們總是説
不要討好別人來讓別人喜歡你

什麽時候開始
展現真心卻成爲了如此狼狽的事情。

|

人之所以有溫度
想必是要讓我們能夠在擁抱的時候
一絲不苟的感受到對方的存在

讓那顆墜落的心
都在被擁抱的溫度裏瓦解。

|

你們總是覺得我
爲了討好別人所以我那麽溫柔
所以我把底綫放的那麽低

但 不是的
你們不懂
我并沒有對每個人都那麽溫柔
當世界可以這麽輕易地否定一個人的善良

讓我再次覺得
自己怎麽 有點狼狽

所以 我再一次
信誓旦旦地承諾自己
讓自己再尖銳一點

但是那終究不是我
所以
我又懶了
只好把事情都擱一邊
祈求不再有人進入我的生命

因爲我始終
會奮不顧身
給與愛

如果你心底裏還有一絲的好
請你務必不要進入我的生命
如果你做不到對我好
但是 你做的到不要傷害我
是嗎



不想失去就不要擁有

絕不要猜測別人心裏想什麽,
琢磨別人的心思 從來不是幸福的人。

|

我姐說
我就是懶
懶得計較 懶得理會 懶得解釋
懶得說 懶得管 就是懶

我説 是的
我不是好 我只是懶。

這個懶還是不賴的
所以我總可以因爲一件事情
而倍感幸福

|

但是
我又是那麽多愁善感
可以一秒快樂
一秒悲傷

患得患失的快樂
我不想要

我不要曾經擁有
因爲我在乎天長地久
所有短暫會消失的事情
我要敬而遠之
因爲失去很痛苦


我不知道該怎麽和生活中
無法失去的人說再見
所以 我沒有説再見
就離開了。



我的小故事

有很多話想和你説
但你若不找我,我又很酷
所以我不和你説,
然後我把它們拆成很多句
和我去聊的每個人都說一句
到最後把故事説完了
但終究沒人懂

但那其實無所謂
我也不太想讓人懂了


|

希望
每一次爲自己做的一點改變
都能讓之後的自己
勇氣加倍

努力的意義
我想就是
當好運來臨的時候
我覺得我值得了

|

我那麽固執
固執得不想讓你懂我的悲傷
但又想讓你讀懂我的無奈

如果我好好說
你會好好聽嗎

是不是不會的
所以你懂了
爲什麽我不説的原因嗎



對的邂逅

明白生活很難
所以相遇的時候,盡力互相善待。

|

你太勇敢
所以他們覺得你一個人也可以

你不夠勇敢
擅自對一個人 決定了喜歡
然而
只好在傷心裏 找好自己的位置

|

既然是關心
那就讓關心單純一點
不想太多的之後 不期待回復與否 
讓關心變得溫柔
像陣風
而對方選擇無動於衷還是隨之擺動
則是他們的自由了

|

對的人
再晚一點相遇吧
等我們都足夠成熟以後
就再也不會莫名其妙地分開了


Tuesday, April 14, 2020

我的溫柔 ft yesterday

所謂的成長,
或許可以這麽解釋。

有一部分 是自己對於 待人接物的進步,
另一部分 是自己對於所有缺失的接受。

/

每一個季節
除了負責花朵的凋零 和盛開
還必須承載一些相遇 和離開。

生活
不可能像你想像的那麽好
但也不會像你想象的那麽糟

因爲我覺得
我們的脆弱和堅强
都超乎自己的想象

就像有時
我可能脆弱得一句話 就能淚流滿面;
有時,
也發現自己咬著牙
走了很長的路。


/

有時候
能夠坦然地表現懦弱那一面
是幸福的
那表示 心裏的黑色情緒
能夠被誰溫柔地接納。

羡慕這種 曾經理所當然的事
我想 是長大付出的代價吧。

如果可以
你也可以讓我
溫柔地接納你
不只有開心
還有悲傷。

我願意擁抱
你所有帶刺的倔强。

/

Yesterday

All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Suddenly

I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me
Oh, yesterday came suddenly
Why she had to go, I don't know, she wouldn't say

I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday
Yesterday

Love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hideaway
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Why she had to go, I don't

Sunday, April 12, 2020

另一種失去。

深夜發文
才能不知不覺。

|

有些重量
只能自己承擔
有些眼淚
留給自己就好

因爲長大以後
我知道這個世界
不會再出現另一個自己

想要找一個一模一樣的自己
好好保護自己。

所有人
都會離我而去
我記住了。

|

行動管制
4/12
他離開了
是一種生命的消逝
在人海中
像陣風。

|

有一種失去
是另一種失去。

|

而我一直好想問的問題
從此也沒有了可以問的機會。

角子

要先讓不想留的人離開
該來的人
才有來的理由



你已經可以分辨
失去喜歡 和失去幸福
是不一樣的。

喜歡 是短暫的
幸福 是長久的。

你一定要先失一些
無法持久的喜歡
才會知道誰才是那個
最後可以陪你 走到幸福的人。

|

只有兩個人珍惜的相遇
我們才稱之為 緣分
否則就只能算是 交會。

不被珍惜的,都不必可惜。
會離開的,都不是真的緣分。

所以
不要再爲了那些短暫的交會
而虛耗自己的眼淚。

|

我們要的
是漸漸纍積 而不是逐漸消磨
想找的 不是只有一起快樂 
還要展現更高貴的情操 那叫 堅定。

我想要的
不是只有一起快樂
我想要陪伴那些 無人問津的累不累




Saturday, April 11, 2020

Wink

A little comfort from you has always
been just enough for hope to seep in.

|

a little goes a long way

Friday, April 10, 2020

10.04.2020

Does it feel like home?
If yes, then don't leave it like guests do.

Thursday, April 9, 2020

Murmur


Making someone understand 
your worth is like speaking in
the language they don't wish to know

I learn to stop pleading
and nourish my soul in all times of uncertainty

The more they broke me
the kinder I became
the stronger I became
also the more fragile I became
doesn't it sounds contradict

|

 I love hard. but embarrassingly hard.
I hold my hope in my throat
I clutch my wishes in my hands

they become moist and sweat 
until I no longer want them




Story i don't tell

I know I belong here but I'd still say
I don't for I know things don't last forever with me.

|

Each time you find my name
a home in your sentences
between the universally special words
like love and sorry

i feel though i were an outcaste in
a system of society i can't fit in
but I know i belong here
in between pages you scribble

but I'll still say i don't belong here
for i know things don't last with me
not even my own family

i was brought up from
i wouldn't know who or what to point at
when they ask of 
blood or belongings.

Monday, April 6, 2020

Priority

If you want to know
you'd spend all of your time
to read her.

|

She's the one be like.
If you write her a handwritten note
she's keeping it forever

no matter what happens.

|


She loves conversation.
She could read back texts all day
She is that old fashioned kind of person
the rare one.

|

If she's just your option
darling. 
please leave her alone.

|

She likes consistent.
Don't introduce her the vibe
where you cannot maintain.

|

If you're not ready for 
her kind of love
Please.
Leave.


Friday, April 3, 2020

Rare.

 I want to read your past
not to judge you
but to know how you needed to be loved

|

I wanted to stitch you up
I wanted to stop the bleeding,
heal the wound.

But what did I know of the places you're hurt
a scratched knee
a broken wing
a cracked rib
you never let me see.

I hope you're ohkay now
but I wanted to be the one to help you.

Instinct

We are born with the instinct to
overcome hurt and keep going.

|

We are born
to learn and fight.

Heals.

I could be so many things.
Just a person nothing too fancy.

But what they do is
they talk of my flesh because
it holds too many roots inside, pure soil.

They talk of my size because
it's not the shape of their perfect fruit, 
only disappointments.

I could be human,
with cracks and stitches from childhood,
but what they do is make me hide them,
push me to be a part of their camouflage

but I could be anything
and I chose to not play dirty
and I chose to be who I am
just another wounded human
trying to heal differently.

Pain free.

I feel you and I care but I'm no god.

Half of what I write is unacceptable poetry
because it isn't motivating and doesn't break.

Like this,
into fragments with
rhythm missing because
my poem is my culprit in my eyes
always running and hiding in corners
down the streets, I can't reach,
there's a pattern to be followed but 
I'm too stressed for that.

A not-so-perfect-poem
by a 
not-so-perfect-person